Saturday, July 22, 2006

It Isn't Worth It.

I have been thinking about the recent posts by both myself and Brother Green, but mainly about the comments that have resulted from the posts. I have no idea if what I have to say will help any of you who are struggling with various sin and temptation, but Allah has put it on my heart today, Alhamdulillah.

The topic of discussion is giving into sin and the worldly things that seem to lure and tempt Muslims on a daily basis, especially in North America.
I have been thinking long and hard about how I can try and convince people that the "fun" things that people are talking about; the sex, drugs, alcohol, nudity, dancing, movies, language, dating... That these things which saturate society are not all that they are cracked-up to be.

I can understand how if these are things you haven't experienced first hand, or have "had a taste of" and have left you wanting more, why it would be hard to ignore them. As a university student I know the pressures that are on people to drink, to "fit in" because if "everybody else is doing it..." could it really be that bad? I am going to be honest and very candid in this entry. Those moments- the ones that seem so great at the time, the ones that leave you on a high as if you were riding a rollercoaster will eventually only leave you with despair and guilt. Despair and guilt that I can only describe by some of the following REAL stories.

If you think that drinking is glamerous and fun, let me tell you about the friends that I have talked to who have no recollection of the nights spent drinking. They have no recollection of where they spent their time, who they were with... I know people who thought it was "so cool to drink" that they spent the night surrounded by men in a club and woke-up in a room surrounded by other men they had never seen before.

I have personally seen people passed out on bathroom floors because they have alcohol poisoning... I know you may be thinking "but I have control, those people didn't." Do you think they planned on being in that stage when they started out?

For those of you who think that exposing yourself in clothing which isn't modest is okay, and wonder "who is it hurting anyway?" Let me respond by telling you that I have heard men talk about women dressed scantly clad. That the comments they make are not about their mind. Where these women become a piece of meat, objectified and on display. And for those of you who say "but how others dress is outside of my control." Well yes, you are right, but are you putting yourself in compromising situations where you are looking?

What about dating? Seems innocent until temptation comes in... You think you are strong enough? What happens when you break-up? What happens when you start finding your faith again and have to deal with the guilt of knowing you have had intimate experiences with someone other than your life partner.

I personally know people that have stolen from their families to buy drugs, who are addicted to sleeping pills, who have parents who are both alcoholics and now their children have adopted the habit. I know compulsive shoppers who have gone thousands and thousands of dollars into debt and have ruined their life because of greed, I know families that have been torn apart by adultery. I know women who have been sexually assaulted and feel guilty about it because they feel like their behaviour "asked for it". I know girls who vomit on a regular basis because they feel like their bodies need to look like the half-naked movie stars in the media. I have seen young boys talk about gangs and drugs because they are "cool", these are 10-12 year old boys I am talking about. I know of a someone who had a child at age 12... Babies having babies, I know a woman who is still dealing with the guilt of aborting a child 40years later...

What is glamorous and fun about any of this? What is so enticing or rewarding? I can promise you that if any of those people could change their experiences they would. I can tell you that even as someone whose past sins have been erased at the time of my conversion, I still deal with the feelings of guilt that tear my heart up. Areas where I feel like I fell so short.

Do you want to be the person who is sitting with their head in their hands writhing with guilt and despair? Do you want to deal with the anguish that these things cause? It isn't worth it.


Davood said...

I really enjoyed reading this.



may14muslima said...

Thanks for letting me know Davood. I always appreciate feedback, positive or other.
May Allah bless you.

Fereshteh said...

After this note, I know more than ever that "we really aren't missing anything".
->"I have no idea if what I have to say will help any of you who are struggling with various sin and temptation"

Never doubt it:-)

Abdallah said...

The Prophet (S.A.W.)has said it best. That is..."Every son(daughter) of Adam sins and the best of those who sin are the ones who repent". I guess people tend to foreget that they're bound to make mistakes. And the fact that every moment of their life is a test. Sometimes you pass those tests and sometimes you fail. But I guess the question is how will you react to the outcome of those tests? Will you take heed or will you keep leading yourself astray?

Abdallah said...

I just want to correct may previous comment. The Prophet (S.A.W.) not only said it best but has also spoken the truth!

ARG said...

...Jenny, I think we could write volumes on this! And, hey, maybe we need to!

may14muslima said...

Isn't that the truth... Insha'Allah we won't have to.

Ibn Al Hyderabadee said...

that is true, we could write volumes ont his....

the issue of sin and temptation is very serious in our society (N. America). I went through high schools eing everything you described. I thank Allah that He protected me from all this. I was around all this stuff - drugs, sex, alcohol - its was soemthign i saw everyday. But Alhamdulillah, I had that concious at the back fo my head that said you knwo its wrong, and I wasnt soemone who woudl just follow anyone. I liked to be my own person, make my own decisions therefore I managed to go through it without being influenced, until one day I got so frustrated with people around me acting liek complete idiots, I cut off all contact with them. Half of my friends had already dropped out of school by the time I left hanging around them. 3 years later after Alhamdulillah improving myself and finding soem of the greatest brothers that I could actually call friends I finnaly got back in contact with all the people I used to hang around and another hal fof them also dropped out and are still blowing that "potent indo" and the other half still caught up in the game. Alhamdulillah there are a few that have managed to get out of it, but havent managed to still get their life together.

InshaAllah May Allah guide them.
JazakAllahu khayran sister for your post, it really reminded me of the days I used to just go with the flow, and reminded me how thankful I should be to Allah.

Was Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullah

hox said...

you're right.. its not worth it.. jazakAllahkhair =) assalamualaykum.

J. said...

I think this post was one of your best. I think it's key in expressing and reminding. Can you please write more on this.