Alhamdulillah Allah is so good. Alhamdulillah He is the sustainer, the provider, the protector and everything I could ever want or need in life.
What is so amazing to me... so humbling in its entirety is that Allah (SWT) takes the time to answer our Du'a and give us all that we need, hearing our prayers, giving us contentment in this life despite how completely inconsequential it will be when we meet Allah on the day of judgement. What love and compassion He has for us despite our faults and mistakes, and yet when we fall out of line He will insha'Allah show us our faults and then grant us the opportunity to seek His mercy when we fall short. Alhamdulillah I am eternally grateful to this perfect creator for all that I am given, all that I am not given, and all that I seek...
As this Ramadan starts its fast pace towards its completion I have been sitting and reflecting on all that I have learned. What this month has truly meant to me... Did I change, did I learn something? Will any of what is new in me stay as time goes on?
In my last entry I expressed my desire for Allah (SWT) to shower with me those in the community I could learn from and spend Ramadan with... Alhamdulillah He did just that. He provided me with an entire ummah to learn about Islam from. To show me my faults, to teach me to be stronger, better, and more dedicated. Alhamdulillah much of what I learned was from people I never expected would be a teacher to me... people I am sure do not know the impact they have made in my life this Ramadan-- an impact that will insha'Allah last me for the rest of this temporary life, and allow me to get closer to achieving a life of jannah in the hereafter.
Insha'Allah my goal in this next portion of this entry not to give glory to any person here on earth... only Allah (SWT) is worthy of all glory and praise, but rather my hope is that I would show those of you who take the precious moments out of your days to read this blog that you don't need to be a scholar to make an impact. That (to be cliche) "Actions speak louder than words" and often I believe at times we are most influential when we don't try to be... That when we just be who Allah (SWT) has created us to be, without pride, or selfish motivation, it is then that we see how He works in our lives. Alhamdulillah I saw many of those moments in the ummah this Ramadan
To the sister who struggles with surrendering her faith fully to Allah (SWT), and forgetting about a hurtful past full of disbelief and anger, the way I see you lower your head in sajood reminds me to humble myself before Allah, to remember the authority I pray to, and that I am inconsequential in comparison. Alhamdulillah the trust I see you putting in Allah (SWT) by just seeking Him out, still uncertain at times of the outcome is a trust we all need to have in Allah (SWT). I know you feel that your faith is still "in progress" but it has shown me how to give up control and "trust" that Allah will work as He has planned. I make du'a that you will see this, you will draw closer to Him, and He will make Himself more and more real to you.
To the auntie in the masjid who I see every week, never missing a prayer, devoting herself to prayer and dhikr the entire time she remains in the mosque... prostrating despite a body that is failing in this world, I find inspiration. Of course I don't know your heart, but way you lower yourself to ground before Allah (SWT) the way I see tears fall from your eyes while you humbly dry them so as to not cause attention, I pray that when I am in those years I will dedicate me days to Allah as I see you doing. Alhamdulillah you inspire me to prostrate to Allah and never get up...
To the Imam of the community who has recently had a child with his wife yet spends his nights and days reciting the Qur'an and leading this community in prayer, and wisdom, I pray Allah (SWT) will reward your for your commitment to Him. Jazakallum Khair for the work you do in this community for the sake of Allah (SWT) Jazakallum Khair for the days you answer endless questions despite your busy schedule to better the community you help to lead. Meshallah your recitation and dedication make me want to memorize the Qur'an.
To the sister who recently converted and is so passionate about standing for what is right, showing the ummah where we need to better serve Allah, seeking and achieving an understanding of Jihad and devotion to Allah (SWT) that we all need to question our dedication to Him and the perfect religion of Islam, thank you for speaking your mind. Thank you for your passion and the way you help the community to think about "the tough issues" that often get swept under the rug.
To the sister who is finding strength in Allah (SWT) to help her to reconsider the topic of modesty... to decide what it means to her, what it means as a Muslima, I see Allah (SWT) working in you and it reminds me all of the time that as we draw closer to Him, He will draw closer to us. The way you welcome all of those in the community, are kind in your nature is beautiful, but you also have a strength that goes unnoticed. You have taught me much about how to talk to people, characteristics in my personality that I don't like, and that are unislamic, insha'Allah that lesson will make me more able to become "the ideal Muslima" that we are learning about.
Oh... the list could go on and on.... The people that Allah has provided to impact my life this Ramadan-- All glory and praise are due to Allah (SWT) alone. This Ramadan I have seen so many parts of me and my faith that were working totally against me in the perfect religion. Alhamdulillah I have seen faults that now I will change with the strength of Allah (SWT). Insha'Allah giving up these earthy desires, sins, and stumbling blocks will help me to perfect my faith and serve Allah (SWT) in the way that I desire.
Alhamdulillah, I truly feel that should my sinful nature, and mistakes I have made in this life... over this month, cause me to not receive the beautiful reward of Ramadan from Allah (SWT) I know this month has not been in vain. I have learned so much about who I am in and who I am not that I don't know how I could ever look at my life in this world the same... That gives me much happiness and indeed an eternal gratitude in this temporary existence to the one TRUE GOD... Allah Subhanna Wa Ta'Allah.
May Allah bless all of us, accept our du'a, accept our fast, and help us to seek out the night of Qadar in these last days of Ramadan...Ameen.